Why don't I just make the check payable to YOU?!

I am moving again. Not like you care, but listen to me whine about it anyway. I thought I found a great place. Turns out the mice and roaches think it's great, too. I am not such a JAP that a few bugs would cause me to pack up again, but there is also a total lack of heat in this place. Like, what? Is that legal? I don't care if you still think I am being JAP-y about living here. Heat is heat. I need it, end of story. I have to draw the line somewhere. This brings me to my next point. Another one of my roommates (there are five of us) just moved out and Nerd Kid moved in. I tried not to judge him. I failed.

His dad and his brother helped him move in. Nerd's brother looks like a model and, for a brief moment, I got really excited at the idea of living with a male model. Welcome home! Those hopes were dashed when I saw his nerdy little sibling, my actual roommate. Minus ten cool points. Then Nerd , being surprisingly stupid for someone who has so little else going for himself, unpacked onto his bed. Leaving him nowhere to sleep. So he slept on the couch, setting his alarm at 4:30 am so he could unpack and "not disturb us." I can think of very few things that are more disturbing than listening to someone try to assemble an electric tie rack in the hallway at 4:30 am. I guess he went back to bed after a while. I went to work.

Flash forward to just now, when Nerd wanted to talk about manufacturing in post-war America. Except he didn't say it like that. "You know, lotsa factories and stuff you know like closed in cities like Houston and New York and you know places like Cleveland." He taught me all about our rich capitalist history. The whole time, I debated whether or not to be an asshole once he finally shut his yap (about 20 minutes after his riveting introduction on urban theory).

I, of course, decided to be an asshole.

I tried to engage him in a conversation about post-Fordist deindustrialization within the context of fleeting modernist values and the push toward socio-spatial differentiation within urban centers. Is he familiar with the works of David Harvey? Because Harvey's theories on capitalism are simply fascinating, as he makes very strong arguments toward the growth of the built environment aroud the commodification of capital. Although, marxist geography must be countered with a well-though deconstruction of someone like Burgess. You would like that Nerd, as you work within the capital market. Which as you so articulately noted was the cause behind the decline of textile manufacturing in urban areas such as Houston and New York. We should discuss this at length another time. I am sure you have some wonderful insights, especially on Burgess and the Chicago School.

Yeah that's right. I may be paying 200k for a degree that won't give me shit in the real world. In the academic world, though, my degree is in Taking Names and Kicking Ass. Don't even try to impress me. The chances of that went out the door right along with your change sorter, which I watched you knock over with your lava lamp when you moved in (one of the most gratifying moments of my life to-date). You have no idea what you are talking about. I have earned the right to SCHOOL you in the art of rhetoric on urban spaces.

Please remember that when tipping your Starbucks barista, which is what I will be doing after I graduate, trying to earn enough to qualify for food stamps and government cheese.