Sometimes you feel like a nut (and by sometimes, I mean always)

I have a lot of theories living up in my little head, some of which I came up with, but most of which I did not. The one I think about the most (we'll save my original theories for another moon) is the chaos theory. You know, some butterfly flaps its wings and then there is a tornado in Texas. This is also called the "butterfly effect," which is not to be confused with that terrible movie starring Demi's son...er...husband and that faceless chick whose name I can never remember.

Anywho, I believe it, but probably to an absurd degree. Some things are just obvious. I left the water running in the sink and now my house is flooded! I didn't wait for my food to cool off before stuffing my face, and I burned my lip and got a herp-like blister (true story!). See? Obviously related.

Now, the correlation between some events is a little harder to see, but I choose to believe they are connected anyway. I forgot to return an important email and my eyeball swelled up. I told my mom I didn't want to have children and my computer denied me internet for a while (withholding children, withholding internet...so obviously connected!). The chaos theory is clearly at work here. To resolve this latter issue, I swore to the mighty Zeus (Mom) I will not only have kids, but I will raise them Jewish. I promptly got my internet back. And my period.

P.S.- I turned to my good academic resource, Wikipedia, to read about the actual chaos theory. There were lots of big words, one of which was four syllables! Yikes. But then I clapped out the syllables of my own name (yes, clapped. Even smart kids need help sometimes.) and realized that my name is also four syllables. Nevertheless, while this is not a list of proper examples of the real chaos theory, who wants to read all of those big words? Not me! So accept this as science and lets pretend like I am right about everything and the smartest person alive.