It sucks to be me!

Let's take this moment to discuss a few things currently occupying my brain and subsequently preventing real thought from taking place. First and foremost, I would like NYU students to do me a favor. Clear your schedules for five minutes each and every day. Then use that time to go fuck yourselves. Seriously. I was trying to get a few sound bites from people on the street today for a story on Facebook and the elections. Innocent and easy enough, right? Wrong! The only person who agreed to talk to me was a non-NYU student. The rest were just too darn busy adjusting their ironic flannel shirts. I am not going to pretend I haven't done my fair share of ignoring people on the street. However, I didn't want them to save the children/trees/whales/Democrats/endangered Peruvian slugs. I just wanted a goddamn minute to talk. I know they are on Facebook. Who else would send me those dumbfuck "What Disney Princess Are You" invites and asking me to join the "RIP HEATHxoxoxoxo" groups?

Moving on- I tried to be a good person today. A friend-type told me (half in jest) that I have a heart made out of lead. If it even exists, that is. So, coming up the stairs of my building, I noticed someone had left their keys in their door. I knocked on the door for what seemed like a lifetime, only to have the woman open the door, grab her keys, and shut the door without even so much as a mumbled "thanks." I really hope she caught sight of me flipping her the bird as she hastily slammed the door. I also hope that should I ever feel the need to vomit in the stairwell, I choose to hurl in front of 4C.

And finally, as I prepare for sleep, I would like to ask my brain to come up with some more interesting dreams. Last night I had a dream about getting cheese from a deli. The night before that it was buying paper towels at Duane Reade.*

I give up.

*I think I know what this is about. I went to bed angry that one of my roommates uses all of the paper towels and never, ever buys more. Ever. I am not saying he should adopt the Brawny Man as his god, but if you are going to use 4000000 a day, fucking buy more, ok? Thanks.