A handy relationship chart for your edification

Subject	Month 1	Month 3	Month 5
Sprained ankle	“Oh my god, are you ok? What can I do for you?”	“Wow that sucks. I’m sorry.”	“Walk it off”
Making plans	“I am busy until 12, but I will see if I can leave at 11:45. I really want to see you!”	“I’ll call you, but it will be late.”	“Can’t. Busy. Sorry.”
Where to eat	“What do YOU like?”	“That’s fine.”	“How many times do I have to tell you? Tuesday night is pizza night. Jesus.”
His career	“He’s a musician!”	“He waits tables, but he is also in a band.”	“He’s poor.”
Friends	“Can’t wait to meet them! They sound so fun!”	“They are okay, just a little crude.”	“Tell the fat pervert to shut his trap.”
Phones	“I am so sorry I missed your call!”	“Sorry, I think my phone was on silent.”	“No, it works, but CSI was on.”
How was your day?	“Great!”	“Okay. The usual.”	“I’m sorry…were you speaking to me?”