Greetings from Sunny Florida!

More like "Torrential Downpours Alternating with Scorching Heat" Florida. Seriously- the weather patterns here are pretty stupid. If it's not the surface of the sun, it's a storm of Biblical proportions. I did get to see a rainbow after one of the storms, but I couldn't look at it too long, or the sun was going to burn holes in my eyeballs. I like being home, if for nothing else than the full fridge, nice gym, and free laundry. Hanging out with my parents isn't half-bad either. And when my little turd of a brother isn't feeling so, well, turd-like, it's actually fun! They keep asking me whether or not I am moving here. (Granted, I am not allowed to move in with them, but must rather rent some sort of habitat near them.) Today while getting manicures, my mom predicted to the nail lady* that I will be living here by the time I am 30, "or even sooner, depending on when she gets pregnant." Wait...not only do I have to produce children, but I have to move them to her? Me thinks not. Although, all that free babysitting would be nice...

I don't even know why I am thinking about this! Let's count the number of months that have passed since I have been on a proper date. If that embarrassingly large number says anything, it's that I am more likely to own a unicorn farm than get married and help populate the earth.

*As soon as we left, my mother told me she had a hard time keeping a straight face while getting her nails done, because the manicurist "had teeth like mah jongg tiles. How can she close her mouth?!"

Now you know what kind of tree cultivated my tendency to be a mean little apple.