The festering shitfuck that is God's waiting room will gain three new residents (Younger Brother is going, too) sometime within the next six months. They showed me a picture of their new neighborhood. It has some cute little name, like Palm Village, and comes complete with a golf course and two country clubs. You also get a welcome mat when you move in:
"But Ariella, the new house has a pool!" I don't swim. I can count the number of times I have been swimming in the past decade on one hand. The idea of being submerged in water reminds me too much of the womb (and those days are long gone).
"But Ariella, there is a very active Jewish social scene!" Fantastic! Maybe now I can relive the horror that was BBYO and all of the other assorted Jew groups I was forced to join. The first time around wasn't nearly painful enough.
"But Ariella, the walls have cherry baseboards!" Alright, you got me there, Mom and Dad. I have always wanted cherry baseboards. Maybe Florida won't be so bad after all!
Dicks.
No comments:
Post a Comment