Will Smith. What an asshole.

Rats used to be the biggest nuisance in Washington Square Park. However, this title has recently been stripped from the rodents and passed on to the people filming the new Will Smith movie (which, rumor has it, is about post-apocalyptic zombies...sweeeeet).


Like any good New Yorker, I am completely bothered by their presence...on the outside. Being the social leper that I am, I raise my voice along with the rest of my trust-fund, H&M-wearing, liberal arts peers in boisterous contempt for the filming around the park.

"Don't you realize I am going to be late for my social analysis class? NOW how am I going to tell everyone about my theories of postmodernism and metropolitan jurisdictional equality? This is total BULLSHIT!"

On the inside, though, I am excited at the idea that i may be able to catch a glimpse of the Fresh Prince (maybe a little too excited). This man was a part of my childhood! Like any good parent, my mom left my brother and I alone a lot with nothing but the warm glow of the television to provide us with moral guidance and love. So what did we watch? "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," of course. I liked the first Men in Black. And the second one. I own "Willenium." I want to see Will Smith, damnit!

So, if you hear me yelling about how inconvenienced I am, humor me and play along. And then tell me if you have seen Will Smith around and where I might be able to get an autograph.